Tomato Soup

1. Go looking around the house for anything tomatoey. Fresh tomatoes? Nice. Canned tomatoes? A-OK. Tomato paste? Actually a pretty good choice if you like smooth tomato soup. Pasta sauce? Mmmm....I'll allow it.

2. Acquire some amount of onion and a couple cloves of garlic. Mince the onion (or use dried minced onion). Peel the cloves, smash them under the flat of the knife, then dice by rocking the knife back and forth across them.

3. Butter, pan, med-high heat. Cook the onions and garlic until the garlic is almost burnt. It'll be okay, it won't be crunchy after step 9. Set aside.

4. Chop up your tomatoes however you want. Use your hands to smash up the canned ones, I don't give a fuck. If you want smooth soup, maybe run them and the garlic 'n onion through a blender or something.

5. Butter, flour, cream, milk. Make yourself a roux of some kind.

6. Add your tomatoes and garlic and whatever. Thin it with milk until it's a bit too runny.

7. Get a teaspoonful or so of miso paste or some stock or Knorr Tomato & Chicken Bouillon from the "mexican" aisle and dissolve it into the soup.

8. Salt, sugar, pepper, oregano, paprika, red wine vinegar, lemon juice, etc. Don't get too wild with the salt yet.

9. Just let that motherfucker simmer for like an hour. Make some grilled cheese. Add more milk if it's getting too thick.

10. Add a splash of lemon juice and, if it needs it, salt. Lemon always mellows out after cooking; some fresh juice is always nice.

Tada! Especially good with most any fresh herb on top.