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goobster  ·  1703 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: August 21, 2019

A weekend of social. I went to three impromptu bbq's this weekend... funny thing is that it was the same core group of 8-10 people, just in three different locations, with the addition of 2 or 3 unique people at each location.

We all have a lot of history together. Burningman. Community activism/art projects. Deaths of common friends. Marriages and Divorces of common friends. We've covered a lot of ground together.

But this weekend, we just hung out. Talked. Broke bread. Had drinks. Laughed... a LOT.

It was cathartic and educational for me. I needed the connection with my 'tribe' because I have been very insularly-focused recently. Working on my own projects. Not going out. Declining invitations. So it was nice to connect with my true friends again.

But I have a much shallower 'social fuel tank' nowadays. I used to be the loud one. The chatty one. The social butterfly.

This weekend, I listened much more than I talked. I didn't take center stage, or one-up people's stories with a crazier one of my own.

And I ran out of gas pretty quickly. I would get to the point where I didn't have any more capacity to be 'present' and participatory, so I'd give my wife the nod, she'd wrap things up, and we'd go home. (She was kinda 'done' at the same time I was. So it worked out. I wasn't dragging her away.)

---

When I lived in Budapest, my core group of friends met every Saturday at the Rudas bathhouse. It's a mineral water spring that the Pasha of Buda (Ottoman Empire) built a dome over, in the 1500s. Men-only. Naked. Just soaking in the water. Taking in the steam. Getting a "doctor-massage", (which was more like a therapeutic beating).

And talking.

About anything.

I miss deep conversation. Discussion.

Gonna cultivate that culture with some of my male friends, here in Seattle. I miss it, and I like these guys very much. Maybe its a thing that can happen here, too. (Although, without the bathhouse, of course. Nudity is taboo in America.)