One of the most annoying thing about the '80s was the ridiculous 'boomer adulation of a certain flavor of '50s nostalgia - a world of poodle skirts and Chevy Bel Airs, not so much one of Atomic Cafe and the Korean War.

It bugs me now when I go to the grocery store and hear all the 1-hit wonders of my youth because they're cheaper to license. The '80s have become Dream Academy and Baltimora, a pastiche of Goonies tropes and Double Mint commercials. Because I guess when you're Apex Consumer the world must bend to your nostalgia.

That's fuckin' Stranger Things.

Netflix isn't terrible. It's basically mid '90s USA Network - a bunch of bullshit, a bunch of reruns, a couple passable episodes of JAG. But they're well aware that they sell nostalgia, pure and unfiltered, without any of that nasty insight or metaphor.

So yeah. Thaw out Winona Ryder and Matthew Modine. Surround them with off-brand Goonies. Give them a vague horror plot that's just reminiscent enough of X-Files and The Thing that it tickles the irony bones but holy fuck whatever you do don't be creative.

I gave Stranger Things a season and some. We finished Season 1 and then sort of started Season 2 out of some sort of obligation but our hearts really weren't into it. I think it's worth asking how old everyone is - a Facebook friend of mine posed the question "Is there anybody watching and enjoying Stranger Things that wasn't around the first time?" and the answer was 37 variations of "no, but...".