That external observation, however, leads me to suggest that the life of a child that has never left home and the life of a child that has come home are two entirely different things, a situation that parents are less likely to be aware of because their experience has changed the least. Or, contrariliy, a situation that parents are more likely to be aware of because you've been gone and now you're back and they miss what once was and they want it so badly.
This is sagely fucking advice, thank you. Having my own emotions explained to me so plainly has cleared my head.
elizabeth recommended a "third place" approach as well - You're both smart as hell, I think I have to try it out. I'm going to grab some tea after work, and see how that clears my mind. Might start by reading the book about third places mentioned in the article.
Thanks klein, your insight was really helpful