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kingmudsy  ·  46 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: August 7, 2019

I don't have any major life updates, but I want to share something that's been bothering me. I live with my parents right now. I've been there for a month, and I'm likely to be there for another.

I'm going insane with them.

I have a tough time convincing people that I'm truly an introvert who needs alone-time to feel normal, because I'm quite outgoing and really enjoy talking to people. After spending around people, though, I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach kind of like dread? I have a tough time explaining that feeling, but it's like a nauseous anxiety that compels me away from people.

I haven't been able to spend time alone since I moved in with them. My entire family is so extroverted that they will find me wherever I am in the house and corner me into a conversation about finances, current events, ancestry, whatever...I'm exhausted and it's starting to really frustrate me.

I know I have to tell them I need to be alone sometimes. At the same time, though, I can't help feeling a little guilty:

First of all, they're my family. They love me. They just want to spend time with me, because they miss me. I know I deserve to feel comfortable and that boundaries have to be drawn, but it's tough not to empathize with them. The fear of hurting their feelings is what's gotten me this far.

Second of all, I've been calling it "introversion", but I'm not convinced it's totally healthy? It feels like I shouldn't get so sick of people, like maybe I'm in the wrong for having such a thin-skin and wanting to isolate myself for a few hours after work? Maybe this is an issue that I need to resolve. Part of my reason for leaving this comment is so that people can call me out if I'm being a shit-head about this.

Whatever, sorry for leaving this much angst in a thread I usually use to post life updates. It's been on my mind, and feels good to have off of my chest