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user-inactivated  ·  1702 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: July 31, 2019

Greetings my fellow animals. I have nothing interesting to say this week so I'm just going to say a whole lot of nothing. Summer is half-over, and I'm excited to announce I have accomplished 5% of my goals.

Work: Nothing. Talking about work outside of work grinds my gears. Always has. I had some comment complaining about older folks telling me I'm young and dumb. But the truth is, they're right. I know nothing and I should listen to all older people. All the time. In fact, I should do nothing but listen. I should never talk. I should have no identity. Keep telling me I'm young and dumb! I'll promise to never say a single word ever again on this planet! What is young anyway? 16? 24? 37? Who fucking knows! Only when I'm 80 and finally get the fuck-you money I'll start talking! Buddhist vow of silence! life eeeexxxxppppeeeeeriiieeeeennnnccceeee.

Reality: Nothing. I'm back at the parents' house for the weekend. They're going up to the cottage, so I'm going to be enjoying myself here. That means weed, and girls, and rap music, and setting my stupid fucking degree on fire. 3 years baby. THREE FUCKING YEARS. This is proof we need to design a virus to lower the average life expectancy to 20. A computer virus. Otherwise I'll exist. And you'll be reading this diatribe wondering w.t.f. is this sphere of burnt-out consciousness is on about.

Imagine going from being in a band, having a rap mixtape on SoundCloud (that for some reason is still slapping in the high school 4 years after I graduated), getting suspended in school for hacking, doing charity work, pretending to build a school in Ecuador, top grades in math and science and raising your ontological level beyond the boundaries of this reality to literally being Bryan Caplan. That's the trajectory of my life. And not bailing out of this by the first year because you have a rational program in your head telling you it's rational to continue. Rationality. Forget about your gut-feeling. Maximizing the utility function subject to a budget constraint using a Lagrangian. That's what "the twists and turns of living" do to people. All because I cared, or something. Politics.

Politics: I had a professor that was exactly like him. He too, punished his children using the extensive-form game in game theory, and wanted to emulate the practices of the business school. Baby pictures. Loads of baby pictures. Pictures of his kids. So cute. Oh, I only posted half the assignment. Let's fail half the class. Let's argue about it. That is, not accepting assignments if they're handed in when class starts. Nope, has to be at 8:29am. Like how could anyone tolerate this for a second? For the privileged of becoming a trade assistant in America? Big yikes. I'm convinced becoming upper class is just a function of how much bullshit you can take. I think total failure is better than mediocre success.

Mental Health: At some point during this process and realizing I might be in school forever just to not hate myself I tried to go to therapy as a joke. I knew it wasn't going to work, I just thought it would be funny. This girl was like "oh, well your twenties are kind of like bouncing around from interest to interest here check out Gary Vee! He's an entrepreneur!" bruh.

So there's only one way out of this mess really. I'm not a whiner, although I play one on TV. I'm a fucking problem solver. That's to start rocking out with our sock out EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. Getting laid. And to do it now, because the present moment is the only thing any of us will ever experience. As opposed to spending the rest of our lives "waiting" for the opportunity to do so. Oh, after I graduate high school. After this semester. Once I finish college. Sure I'd really like to make a film. Once I'm on vacation. Let me tell you, bullshit. That's a formula to turn you into reddit.com. Am I the asshole? Fuck you! Only way out is to blow past the squares with an unpredictable surge of creativity. Then I think, we'll finally understand why we're all here.