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user-inactivated  ·  877 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 10, 2018

Fun cults are awesome. We once sacralized a small area outside of our mid-sized city called Waubuno... the legend was you could only find it when you were lost.

Our method was to all dress up in togas and drive the initiate to our house in total silence. After about ten minutes of not even saying hello or having music on the radio, they were led into a dark candlelit room, interrogated by 5 dudes in togas, and then forced to write an entrance exam based on inside jokes and political opinions. "The 2003 invasion of Iraq was a good idea" (agree 1- disagree 5) There was also a ridiculous quasi-legal independent contractor agreement we made them sign stating you'd pay us $60/year for coffee and in exchange we would perform the work of criticizing your favourite artist to death, bailing you out of jail, things like that.

Finally we would re-enter the room and break the silence through a progressive series of chanting, and after an elaborate series of cryptic messages deliver the lawn gnome. I forgot the gnome's name but having successfully passed the test, they had to carry him all the way to the mythical land of Waubuno without letting go or they would fail. No talking was allowed during the final leg of the journey either. They passed. :)