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timid  ·  147 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 19, 2018

Tonight I feel content. Unphased.

Its a rare feeling, as I'm an anxious, high strung type. I clench when my wife so much as gasps, preparing myself for - whatever. Usually it's nothing worthy of my reaction. But I'm at peace, and I wish I could always be this way. Stoic, not reactionary but calmly but sternly correcting my toddler when necessary, not putting thought or fear or anger or stress into it but naturally.

The moment feels right, im in the right place I need to be and i can handle anything that comes my way. But yet I can feel its a fleeting, highly fragile state.

Every few months I feel this way, usually after a few beers, on a calm but not necessarily quiet rainy or chilly night. Today completely sober, after a week straight of rain. Its like the emotional equivalent of a "flow" state.

Anyone know what im talking about? I only wish to name it and research so I might experience it more often.