Share good ideas and conversation.   Login, Join Us, or Take a Tour!
comment
veen  ·  8 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 11, 2018

Thanks, goob, it is much appreciated. :)

I wasn't actually being a sad panda out there. What I tried to say is that despite having a good time, or maybe because of it, I was confronted with what I feel like I am missing out on, which happens to be an aspect of my life that hasn't changed in the last decade. It doesn't feel like a hump, it felt like a reminder of the valley of insecurity that I was thrown in as a kid and am still climbing out of.

I have made a lot of progress, in no small part because of a bunch of people reading here. I like my job, my friends, love my family, I am getting smarter every day, and I'm physically and mentally fit. (Hell, I might be getting actual visible abs if I keep this swimming thing up! It's bananas.)

But I want to share that with someone on a deeper level, and my apparent inability to do so makes me feel like the loser they used to tell me I was.

And that is probably not true, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.