Hey, thanks for hanging on to your self-righteousness like a coat of many colors. Does it keep you warm?

You're not a potential ally. You never were. Sure, you held your nose and voted for Bernie but what's most important to you is that we all know how distasteful you find everyone else's position before you ask what they are. Meanwhile you get a chance to expound on your Goldilocks politics whereby to "earn" your vote one must triangulate to exactly the sort of magical policy choices you demand so that the rest of us know this whole Trump thing? Yeah, you're above all that.

You're principled. Go ahead and say "realpolitik" again, it makes you look so clever.

I'm right about a lot of shit. You act like I've never talked to you before, like I've never had these discussions with beard-stroking brow-knitting thinkers who insist that the water must not be too hot, must not be too cold must be just right or they won't go swimming. Who universally refuse to acknowledge that for fuck's sake, man, the middle has been marching to you at double-time since Kennedy fuckin' died. Who insist they're "moderates" even though Clinton was slightly to the right of Nixon. Who somehow can't grasp that they're actually pretty goddamn right wing and the real problem is that the Right has grown so populist that Buckley wouldn't approve so they have to lodge their disapproval by slummin' it with the Lefties.

Edgy? Naah, dude, I'm giving you the whole axe because you're a fraud. I don't even care what you believe; it doesn't really matter because the reason you believe it is it makes you special not because you've thought much about the way the country oughtta run. So go ahead, drop the mic. Mate the check. you've solved me, bitch. You were Right about the Left which is why you Left the Right or some shit. "Realpolitik" is full of assholes like me that will forever be jealous of your brilliance. The principled thing is to never vote again.

At least until you figure out that politics is about something greater than yourself.