Yesterday was hard, I finally have to start confronting something I've been avoiding. I was born with or developed in childhood external tibial torsion in both my legs. This is not even a little conducive to distance running. My only option is to manage it and continue to strengthen basically all my muscles and tendons in my lower body. Even then, I'm more likely to be hurt running long distance than the average runner. To add, my movement efficiency will never be great because a lot of power is lost when pushing off my feet due to this alignment.
I might never be the runner I want to be, due to something completely out of my control. That's a hard pull to swallow. I don't like feeling constrained because of something out of my control, and right now, I do.