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Me and my wife have talked about this same phenomenon, where we're told that it's not the system that's broken, but it's us. It seems like a probably unintentional, but really insidious control mechanism: if most people are convinced that it's them who need to change, the idea that the problem might be systemic doesn't really occur. Especially now in the age of social media that gives us curated glimpses of the "best of" of our friends' lives, we have this tendency of thinking that it's just me that's broken, and everybody else is somehow much better at this.