I wish I had that kind of spine.
Through a series of twists, turns and "What the fuck just happened?" something amazing has dropped in my lap that I hope to announce.... soonish. For the first time in a long while I have a goal, a mission and people cheering me on. Kinda weird to type that out, even weirder to be living it.
Nobody is exactly sure how I am able to pump enough blood to stay conscious. I don't have an answer myself.
Sounds like you are either stronger than you think or you have shit that you have not yet done and need to stick around long enough to finish it.