My inside joke with some old roommates, a bodybuilding.com profile page ("bro, did you check my bb.com, on a big bulk right now"):

You've maybe guessed the article of clothing is a hat. My ex-four-year-university's primary school color and logo, tattered and torn in the most over-the-top douche-baggy way ever imaginable. Totally broken bill. Metal exposed at topmost vertex. It was once chewed on by a pit bull (most aggressive kisser I've met, tbh). Eight years before that, it flew off of my head while it protruded from a car's window, barreling down the highway, but was returned to me the next day of school by my friend, who said his dad had found it on the side of the road and recognized it as mine. Used to keep the sun off my neck while skateboarding with that hat. I don't keep track of it, it keeps track of me. Sometimes, I wash it.

I found it as soon as I went looking for it in the back seat of my car a few days after having not worn it for almost a year, 'cuz I got a bad haircut recently. I considered it for a while, but I can't really wear it anymore, it's way too loud. Would still love to use it as a prop in a sketch someday.