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Devac  ·  474 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: March 1, 2017

I really don't think that it's about stress. I have been feeling comfortable with doctors since I can remember, I have no fear of being tested etc. The only way it could be in any way related to stress it would be about me having some sort of hard event and all of that hitting me afterwards. Still, if that kind of pain can be psychosomatic… dude. Fifteen percent of my thigh got second-degree burns. I survived a car crash with glass and bits of plastic and metal stabbing my back and leaving one eight-centimetre-long scar and two smaller ones. I fell off my bike and tumbled on gravel for about ten meters. Each of those hurt like a motherfucker and my headaches are only slightly below it. That ain't psychosomatic or my brain is a bigger arsehole than I am.

I'll look it up, but in my experience, psychiatrists, psychologists and therapists are unskilled money sponges that will latch to anything that you give them and try to convince you to agree with their first impression. I had to attend a number of sessions because of a school problem and the only lesson I learned from it was "it's OK when you are bullied, but when you will retaliate and subdue that piece of shit only to follow it with public humiliation you need therapy for antisocial tendencies". I should be fucking congratulated if anything! How often do you see a fourteen-year-old who can toss around and completely subdue someone who is four years older? High school sucked, I'm over it.

I'm learning more about myself, people, my problems, empathy and the importance of self-image from just bumming around on Hubski than I have ever learned by being exposed to people. Basically, I'm not backtracking from my initial "I'll look it up" but I'm at best sceptical about any such treatment and that's a very important factor.

EDIT: EMDR is damn expensive around here! Aside from schedules being booked for quite a while, it's still a costly venture. I'm halfway done with fitting my networking and electronics lab (few Raspberry Pi boards, oscilloscope, network switch, basic electronic and electrical components, fucktonne of cables, and regulated power supply. that sort of gear, some of which I already have). Five EMDR visits in a package cost about the same as the rest of my intended lab! And I still can't say about myself that I have experienced anything close to PTSD or live in stress.

I know that you've just shared an option with me, it's much appreciated by the way, but it's not for me. At least for a while. No doubt that there could be the time when I will be willing to try anything, but so far I can manage the pain. Or at least live with it.