UPDATE: The class was actually really good. A lot of fun, and a really interesting way to say YES, rather than NO. You can learn more about The Consent Academy on their website.

The Burningman community, which I am an active part of, is a rather sexually liberated group of lunatics. There's a lot of sex, and sexy touching, and sexual innuendo, and overt sexual displays, and ... well, because Americans are such fucking prudes, the easiest way to be "non-conformist" or "radical" is to do something sexual or expose a bit of your naughty bits.

BUT.

All of this stuff happens within a culture that empowers people to be open and outlandish, while also respecting other people's boundaries.

Over the last 7 years or so, as social norms have been changing, and people are redrawing their boundaries, and women are exerting more power over their sexual interactions, and speaking up more about their own needs, the sexual-experimental aspect of the Burningman community is changing.

This all came to a head at my wedding, when a really aggressively sexual dude grabbed the butt of a woman he only sorta knew, and she was in a bad post-relationship space, and took MAJOR offense to being groped.

It triggered a HUGE cacophony of discussion and argument and outbursts and butt-hurt feelings throughout a large group of people who - up until then - had been perfectly comfortable being half-naked in a pile of pillows and bodies while rolling on mind-altering substances.

So my wife decided to do something about it.

And tonight, our community is having our first ever "Consent Workshop".

It's a guided discussion by a professional trainer, focused on how to navigate the conversations and permissions and ... well, the minefield, really ... of intimate (not necessarily sexual) relations.

At the heart of the whole thing is the question, "Do you want to GUESS if someone wants to do something? Or do you want their enthusiastic consent?"

Which is pretty fucking cool, if you ask me. Fumble around and wonder if it is OK to take her bra off, or ask her, and have her give you the thumbs up? That makes both parties equals, it levels the playing field, and also makes sure that people are actually doing what they want to do, and not just feeling pressured to "go along with it."

Yeah. I'm a married monogamous dude. But that doesn't mean that I don't snuggle with female friends, or find myself in sexually ambiguous situations. So understanding how to communicate MY boundaries, is just as important as understanding the boundaries of the other people in my community.

I'm looking forward to this tonight!