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galen  ·  2647 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: December 28, 2016

Being home kinda sucks. Not much to do, and everyone and everything interesting is at least a 15 minute drive away (which is even worse with only a learner's permit).

Still haven't slept well since Thanksgiving; feel tired all day most days. Getting 12 hours a night but only after a few hours lying awake and then waking up 3 or 4 times every night. Started drinking coffee and it kind of helps, but it's still hard to get much done when you're sleeping from 3am to 3pm.

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Ran into an old friend at a cafe randomly a few days ago. She was there with friends I don't know, I was there with friends she kind of knew a few years ago. She had to leave immediately, though.

Back when we were in middle school together I had a crush on her and she had a crush on me but neither of us committed to making that obvious. Only found out later. Honestly I would still go out with her but the combination of our long friendship and millennial dating standards make asking her out nigh impossible. I tried to one time like two years ago. We ended up mini golfing in the rain, walking to P Terry's, getting milkshakes. Mutual friend told me after she thought it was purely platonic.

E: Any advice here is appreciated.

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I'm writing a Krampus-themed RPG. Made my own mechanics because fuck buying 26 DnD books and still only being a decent DM. Hoping to play it with some friends on Friday.

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Got grades back from last semester. Straight 4.0-- A A A A. None of this 2 A+, 1 A, 1 B+ bullshit like first semester last year.

I honestly find it kind of weird when people are like impressed by my GPA or congratulate me on it. Like, all I do is just do the work in my classes. And be born a fast learner, I guess? I definitely don't work as hard as some of my friends who have worse GPAs than me. But people are always like, "wow, you have a 3.95? that's incredible!" I'm just doing me, bro.

E: I guess it's partly because getting good grades isn't fulfilling for me. If I get a 4.0 it's like, yeah, that was kind of expected. I've gotten literally 2 Bs since elementary school. But as an example, when I'm playing CSGO, and I get to a new rank, it feels awesome. Because when I started I was dogshit. And I'm still dogshit, but less so, because I put in 1000+ hours of practice and play, and actual hard work got me where I am. Not being born smart or whatever bullshit.