I think where we disagree is just how we view that part of the process. It's tempting to see it as a negative that held us back. Like a short term fix that kept us from really progressing but I don't see it in a negative light. Like for my friend if it weren't for his drinking I don't think he would be where he is now which is in a great place. I could say the drinking held him back from being that person but I think it propelled him forward.

It's common to look at every bad choice or wrong turn and see it negatively but those choices help shape us and put us on our path. The other day I realized it was very quiet and the baby gate was unlatched so my neice was probably sneaking off. When I went to get her she glared at me and as soon as I picked her up started wailing. In that moment she was becoming her own person, she knew she wanted to do something and was pushing back against authority that told her not to.

We are always becoming our self, every minor thing or bad choice is a part of that process. To me it's a life long process that's in constant motion which nothing can hold us back from. Even if something feels like its holding us back it's really slowly shaping us and starting a fire that pushes us forward. This is a bit of a ramble but I think I got it down right, I just don't think growth is preventable.