There were no book stores when I was a kid. The library was a mile walk. But the grocery store was only a quarter mile away and it had all these books.

What the hell is it about? There's an awesome skull - the sorcerer's ostensibly - and a buff man and his pet tarantula about to get into a fight with a greenhouse. Perhaps it has something to do with Time Bandits, which my father decided I wasn't old enough to watch.

There's very obviously a "#2" on top of the book, but I bought it anyway. And read about a third of it, and then decided I probably ought to read the first book, despite the fact that it looks ridiculous:

Which is how, in second grade, too young to watch Blade Runner, I found myself reading an orgy scene involving a wicked sorceress riding a rhinoceros for its dildonic powers.

Beverly Cleary it ain't and, even at the ripe old age of 8, I could tell it wasn't good. I mean, talking spider named Krek.

I still read all six books by the time I was in 3rd grade. Made the Chronicles of Narnia seem, well, juvenile.