I've thought about it for a bit. If I won, I'd go car crazy. First things first though, after cashing in I'd go on a week long tequila bender. No supervision from the wife. No supervision from friends or relatives. If I'm not dead, in jail, or somehow lost all of the money already, it's mean to be. If on some other hand I did fuck things up, the tale would become a cautionary epic meant for the history books. Who knows? Guy Ritchie might make a film about be. Now, I know he'd probably embellish things a little bit, so for the record I do not associate with criminal elements. So please keep that in mind.

Next, I'd have to quit my job so I could go garage hunting for the perfect garage to keep my soon to be epic collection safe. We're talking controlled environment, surveillance system, security post, the works. I'd probably drop Jay Leno a line and see if he couldn't point me in a decent direction. I'd figure he'd know a place or two.

As for the actual car collecting itself, I have mental list. On the short list for the wife, as a reward for putting up with my ass of course, is the following . . .

1. 1st Gen Toyota Celica - She absolutely loves the shape of the car and while she's more of a Datsun/Nissan girl, I'm more of a Toyota guy so first gift to her is a car of my preference.

2. A Datsun S211 Roadster - There are only 20 in existence. Every lottery winner gets to get something outrageously stupid. This would be it. To be honest, I wouldn't even know how to find one, let alone find one someone would be willing to part with. Damn though, it'd be fun.

3. An unmolested, un-fucked up Nissan 240sx – There has to be at least one here in the States that hasn't turned into a wanna be drift missile. I will find it and it will be hers. Worse comes to worse, I'll find a semi-clean example and pay a shop to restore it for her.

4. A Kia Forte Hatchback – No fucking joke guys. I literally just turned to my wife and said “If I won the lottery, what's the first car you'd want me to buy you?” That was her answer. My wife, a car nut, wants a fucking Kia for a lottery car. She's adorable.

Now for my cars . . .

1. A four-eyed Fifth Gen El Camino – This is the car that got me into cars. It deserves to be first for that reason alone.

2. A 1995 Ford Mustang SVT Cobra R – Let's not do this car a disservice by comparing it to modern day cars. Like the Buick GNX of the '80s, this car was the shit. It was pure aggression, mechanically personified. I am more than willing to admit that I am in no way remotely skilled enough to drive one of these things on a track, but as a fan of SN-95 Mustangs, it would be a dream to say I own one of these. In fact, I'd be more than happy to watch other, qualified drivers make this baby do its magic.

3. A whole smattering of classic muscle. In order of years and not preference, a 1967 Oldsmobile Cutlass, a 1969 Dodge Charger, a 1970 Ford Torino, an AMC Javelin of any vintage (cause cause the Big 3 pony cars are too mainstream) and a 1977 Pontiac Trans Am in Bandit Trim. I don't care if the 77 Trans Am is slow, Smokey and the Bandit is the shit and I want that car. Since I'm now rich, I get to have it. Not to mention, if I'm at a car show and see something I want, it's gonna be mine cause I'm rich. So I am by no means limited to this list.

4. A Cadillac CTS-V Wagon – If my wife is gonna go practical. I'm gonna go practical and mean. A CTS-V fits this nicely.

Now, that said, we wouldn't limit ourselves to just those cars. Hell, everytime we go oggling cars at meet ups and shows we find ourselves filled with the “I wants” and the “gimme gimme.” But, you gotta start somewhere.

So I know what you're asking. rd95, you're rich now. What about the Lambos? What about the Ferarris? What about the McLarens and the Paganis, and the Bugattis, and the coach built SUVs with whale penis leather seats? Fuck those cars. You can't drive them in public to their fullest capabilities and I have zero motor sports aspirations, so I would never take one to the track. Truth be told? The CTS-V is probably more car than I can handle. I just want it because it's ridiculously awesome in its own way.

That said though. I am going to get my motor sport fix going real quick. You know those guys in those RVs that go from one NASCAR race to the next? I'm gonna do that, but 100% more awesome. Fuck NASCAR. I've seen a hundred races on TV and I don't need to see anymore. Know where you will find me though? 24 Hours of Lemons, Import Faceoff, Official NASA events (sorry francopoli, it's not that kind of NASA). Anywhere there are average joes getting their motor fix on, I'm going to be there, supporting them, encouraging them, and chatting them up. I get to see the country. I get to see awesome cars. I get to meet awesome people. It's a triple win. I'll be surrounded by some of the things I love the most in an environment I love the most. It'll be heaven.

When I'm not doing that, I dunno. I'll go to school or open a comic shop or something . . .