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Super_Cyan  ·  1827 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What do you do, Hubski?

I'm in high school and on summer vacation, so nothing.

Sometimes my friends want to do something, so I'll go pick them up and have a good time. Most of the time, though, I just sit here and switch between Hubski and Reddit. When both get stale, I'll hop on Planetside 2 or play guitar a little bit.

I was streaming on Twitch, but the past few nights I haven't been feeling well. I slept for 14 hours the night before, and was in bed a little after midnight last night. It doesn't seem odd to be out before 12, but a week ago I was going to bed around 9am - 11am and sleeping all day. I just feel really groggy and tired all day.

I was working out, but the fatigue has been keeping me out of it. I was trying to cycle every day for an hour, but I haven't been out in like a week. I was supposed to lift every other day or so, but I haven't done that in like 4-5 days. Since I supposedly gained 2lbs this week, rather than losing it like before (although, I think I just weighed myself at the wrong time), I need to get back on it.

I'm supposed to be doing a bunch of work, before school starts mid next month. I have to read The Grapes of Wrath, A Streetcar Named Desire (ugh), and The Quiet Room. On top of that, I'm supposed to be learning 200+ German verbs for a test on the first week of school, as well as doing assignments that are supposed to be turned in over the summer. I kind of want to give up at this point, because it's all just too much work to get done in a month.

I wish I was doing something, though. I wish I started on my school stuff, so I wouldn't be a disappointment this year like I have every other year. I wish I streamed more and worked to make my streams better, but I've played around with the conclusion that I'm just not cut out for it. I'd like to be doing cool tech stuff, like coding or some electrical stuff with my Beagle Bone, but I just haven't found a project for it yet.

I'd like to write something worthwhile, but I'm too weak for a job and too brief for a novel. It'd be cool to have a blog, but blogs just feel to illegitimate to me, because I've always pictured bloggers as these people that swing opinions which are too quick to judge and don't carry any weight. I thought about maybe starting a YouTube channel that has some research and writing behind it, but YouTube doesn't like anything that isn't someone screaming and yelling about a game or random bullshit. Even then, I'm an amateur at everything and master at nothing. I don't care about the things that people hold dear, and care about the things that nobody thinks about.

Oh, and since the closest thing I have to a profession is streaming, I'd like to let all the viewers know: We're people too. We're not some monkey that you can throw commands at and watch do tricks. We have lives. We have interests. We are just like you. Would you like it if someone came into your house and started telling you what games to play or what to do? Would you like it if you went to work and everyone made fun of you? Would you like it if you had a dozen people yell at you for something that you did? No? Then just be a decent person.