I think it's quite brave of you to be so open about your insecurities, your feelings of self-loathing and your delusions of greatness. Some people spend a lot of time lost in their own little inner world, but they'd rather be misunderstood than admit it to themselves, let alone a community of strangers. Now don't let this newfound awareness and self-respect go to waste. Build on them, and keep an eye out for those patterns of dysfunctional thought that have prevented you from living a fulfilling life until now. It sounds to me like you have some kind of social anxiety disorder, maybe avoidant personality disorder. You might want to consider the possibility of getting professional help. * * * And yeah, kleinbl00 is the typical big fish in a small pond. Every forum has one, and it seems Hubski is no exception from this point of view. Good for you for not bending under the pressure and not apologising. * * * And TV Tropes sucks.