I suspect you're right in that most people perpetuating casual racism don't view themselves as racist. Like you say, there's a feeling that we've moved beyond race and that people should just get on with the bootstrap pulling. When the flag represents nothing more to you than a shared cultural experience (using shared loosely considering that it's not really the most inclusive "share") then I'd say you have other issues at hand. It shows that they haven't considered what it must be like to see the flag through any other lens than their own. Or perhaps more frighteningly, considered it but came to the conclusion that the other experience was not "that bad" or whatever. IMO you'll never have any kind of meaningful reconcilliation until people are able to identify with the lived experiences of the other group. edit: on rereading I see this might seem like I'm implying that you (BB) think this way - when I say "you" I mean it generally