Things only make sense when we look back and can trace all the steps. This world structure that we adhere to is unnatural and has developed into an unnatural atmosphere of always having to be "on" and ready and making the right moves to your goals. We're monkeys. Things don't really make clear sense and it's all in our heads in the end so what's the truth? I don't know. A few months before graduation I accepted that I choosing the path of least resistance and had been for even just going to college in the first place.. But even choosing not to pursue journalism and play rock'nroll was just the first step of many (see, hindsight) to realize that I had been trying to deceive myself for a long time and take the easy way. Like I didn't deserve the chance to even try. And still I feel like a scam artist "A man is whatever room he's in." I've really struggled lately with the truth of this.